Thursday, 1 December 2011

A pat on the back. *grins*

Today i woke up a bit late than the days before. As in very late. But i managed to be at the lecture hall before the lecturer came in. A big relief I must say.

Usually on Mondays, Our first PBL is ongoing. Today, it was just another Monday. The same ol thing happened. We'd been given a new case and brainstormed the objectives. Since it is a student-centered programme, we have to go through the case, discuss among us and pick up the snippets of information which could potentially be the aims. Today, I was coming down with an unstable state of mind. I just didn't feel good, didn't feel like doing anything. I felt situation in the PBL class was too stressful. Was it because of our Dr talked about test results or was it something else? I couldn't figure out. But all I could say was I was stressed which led to depression and I became sad. Sigh. Felt there was a huge brick hitting me and I need to get it out off my chest. Get me??!? I hate myself when it comes to coping up with emotions. I let my emotions speak up and it all showed in my facial expressions. That was what happened that morning. Hmm.  I just wished to bury my head in the sand and pretended I was fine, enjoyed and got active in the discussion but it wasn't easy. I just kept quiet from the scratch up to the last minute of discussion.

Finally, we dismissed. Ah, I just wanted to be home quick and sleep! That's what i do best whenever I feel so down. If you see me sleeping and eating a lot, it means something is wrong. lol.

Khairina and I waited for Zulaikha outside our class at the pavement. So we did a bit of talking with other girls who dismissed a bit earlier than us. I stood still, leaned my body on the wall while just lending ears of what they were talking. Then I saw my lecturer, Dr Sohayla walked out of our PBL class with another lecturer (maybe). From far, I just greeted her and said thanks for the lesson. She then grabbed my hands and said 'how are you, dear, i wanna talk to you' she touched my hands in a reassuring way, ask me how i want to be helped and took me to a quieter place.

This was our conversation

Dr : Are you okay, my dear? Do you have something bothering you?
Me : No, dr, I'm just fine, it's just that I feel a lil bit stressed-out.
Dr : Why? You have other problems?
Me : No, I think its regarding my studies. I feel that I have been really unproductive these days.
Dr : No, it's okay dear. Come, let's talk somewhere *we headed to our pbl class*

Dr : Why, Elina, why? Do you have any problem?
Me : My studies, Dr. I'm disappointed with myself. My results doesn't measure up to my expectation. I expected something high, but ... That's why i feel a bit depressed.
Dr : No, Elina. It's okay dear. I have always believed and expected good results from you. I know you can do it. But do you have other problems? Relationship with people?
*she thought I had strain with one of my tutor mates, lol*
Me : Relationship with people? I'm fine with everyone. Maybe it's just me.
Dr : In studies, not to worry, I always have hopes in you. If you need notes or anything, come straight to me. Don't be sad.
Me : Thank you dr, I'm sorry I disappointed you a lot.
Dr : Nothing, you never. Just believe in yourself. Try your best to get what you want. I trust your capabilities.
*She hugged me and gave me pats on the back and shoulder*
Me : *touching gila* Thanks dr, you are so kind. Appreciate your time.
Dr : Whenever you have problems, come see me.

TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEELL???????? :P I felt relieved. Ya Allah, thank you so much for everything you have planned for me. I'm so thankful to have that kind of lecturer, it reminds me of the lecturers who taught me back then in high school and matrix. :')

Her voice was warm and caring as she soothed me after a fall and she continued comforting me with calm words. So toucheddddd =') I loved it when we took turns in a conversation and she waited expectantly for me to express my feelings : ) She's just a someone who is pleasant to communicate. I love people who always have believed in me and people who don't make me feel inadequate. I promise to make you proud of me! : ) 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0

No comments:

Post a Comment